New improved insanity.... :)

Do you ever feel like life puts you at the top of waterpark slide and pushes you down? The fear is overwhelming, but somewhere along the way you realize this is a rush you're glad you didn't miss. It has taken every bit of energy to sit and put thoughts to paper again. I have written many drafts, but none have actually made it there. I honestly think it starts out great, but after looking it over, I realize i'm trying to mix pancake batter and cake mix into the same bowl. I have so many thoughts in my head right now I'm trying to sort them out. But what ends up happening is that I start off sorting by color, then partly through start sorting by size, and then ultimately realize I had another pile for content. It's got to be one or the other... I cannot have all of these piles of thoughts just laying around. The funny thing thing about that is that I feel like my mind has gotten so much more clear these past few weeks. Like my heart is in full bloom and my humor has found it's way back to it's twisted home. Life has been derailed more than once over the course of the last few years. Not knowing where you are going or which direction you are headed gets to be just a little too much sometimes. I remember looking up and feeling like i want to give up. Something always brought me back to the insanity i call "home". My goal this year is to get back to doing the things i love the most. Writing. Making sure that each day is filled with laughter and sillyness. My life has so much more than just my dolls now. I have found my life as it was meant to be. And isn't that just a 'woo hoo' for me?
I want to be pushed to do the things i love and have let fall to the side of my feet. Life was meant to be lived in such a way that you wake up smiling knowing that today you see the sun like you have never seen it before. Welcome to my new insanity. I hope that it will be as entertaining as the old insanity. ;0)