A Mother's Day Story to bring you back to the beginning of insanity!

So, we get to that ever important last month and you are at the point of busting at the seams, your feet are so swollen you keep rolling from side to side when you walk. For some reason your toes are making you hungry, possible because they look like fat little juicy sausages.
You can’t cough or sneeze for fear of peeing everywhere, AGAIN!
You are right about ready to throw the phone through the window because if one more person calls to ask how you are feeling or if you are any “closer”, you are sure to rip their face off.
You wonder if your husband purposely swapped your full-length mirror with that of a “fun mirror” you see at the carnivals just to get back at you for making him travel 50 miles out of his way for the last 9 months to curb your cravings.
You face is swollen and blotchy, your nose won’t stop expanding and your head begins to look like a child used you as Mrs. Potato Head.
You will soon have a new reality. My husband was truly wonderful through the whole thing, but seriously, he didn’t have this “miracle” growing inside him. I think when we are pregnant, we feel obligated and almost guilted into saying we “love” this part of it. The overall feeling of pregnancy itself is a wonderful feeling, but it wasn’t like that the entire time. Who are we really kidding when we rave about having all of your organs squished together to make room for your “little tenant”? And then the end is near. All those doctor appointments, the ‘checking for dilation’, the hemorrhoids (thank goodness I never got those), the pressure, the pain, the sleeplessness, the backaches… and its time. Excuse me, but I do believe this is where I start the moaning and groaning of child birth itself and the amount of time it took to push and push and PUSH! Right down to the very minute that I had broke every vessel in my face as my husband looked on, still not breaking a sweat, telling me I am doing great. Just then the doctor took that child from my body and handed her to my husband. Uggggghhhhhh - Idiots!